General Retreat Forms

Here they are!

Withdrawal.

4th Day without dueling. I feel comforted by shuffling cards, thinking up new strategies and helping people tune up their decks. Almost broke today when I almost forgot dueling online on a program was still dueling. Luckily, there were server problems long enough for me to realize.

Anyway, I donno if its this that's causing it, but I've been feeling down lately. Maybe its immersing myself into my character of the play that I'm actually absorbing his emotions. I feel I can really relate to him. Kawawa.

I'm looking forward to a new week and I'm gonna try to put a positive spin on it. I can take 36 more days no problem! Theres a ton of things for these next couple weeks to keep me busy enough to forget.

License to ...

Walk? On the day I get my license test, I get stranded at Bethel so I gotta walk home. Ironic? Yesterday, I was stuck without a ride again. Sigh...Thanks Jacob for giving me a ride though!

Anyway. The next two months are gonna be crazy.

Buffalo Bleu.

Kettle. Heaven in a bag of chips. This flavor however is very rare and I can never seem to find them in stores. I just happened to see them on sale Lucky's. SCORE!

Anyway, today was pretty eventful. Woke up early and went to St. Basil's to help for the CFL/YFL evangilization rally. Shortly after getting there however, I left to Auntie Gene's house for a fund raising meeting. After the meeting was over, it turned into Passion Play auditions.

For some reason, at this audition I didn't feel stressed at all to study lines for my part. Even though I was trying out for the lead male role, supporting male role, and Jesus this year. I don't know why but I just felt weird as a lot of people around me were stressing out and practicing their lines. Heck, I even whipped out my Yugioh cards and started dueling people. When I was called in, I was given an excerpt of the script for the main lead role and asked to act it out with the lead main female. It was kinda awkward, but that's probably understandable cuz I had to propose to her...Anyway, I had to leave early, so after lunch I got called back in and I did another scene for the lead male, and then left afterward. My director said that since she worked with me in the past, she knew a lot about what the extent of my abilities were. So who knows, maybe I'll actually get a modern role for once. =O Or I might end up as Jesus again o.o And maybe even I wont even get a top role, and I wouldn't mind =)

So, I pay TB to give me a ride to St. Basil's. I'm excited because I'm gonna meet up with a freind I hadn't seen in like a year. So when I get there, I wait till a prayer is over and I find her. She's sitting with a friend she hadn't seen for 5 years, who moved to american canyon, and she thought he was dead all that time. I figure he gets priority hands down for social time. So after a while, we get into a more regular social pattern. But its hard because, according to her, both of us are alike in a lot of ways. (A super common name, glasses, long hair, although he had just cut his, band, and upon my own observation, he was just as bad at starting and keeping conversations as me.) Eventually we were all talking as everyone was leaving, until she finally left. So me and him talked for a while, until he too left. And so since we were at St. Basil's, we ended up attending the 5:30 mass.

After that, went grocery shopping at Lucky's and I found...

So you think you can dance?

Well, I certainly can't. Haha, I failed so hard during Maria's cotillion on Saturday.

So, being as this is one of my first posts in a long time here's whats happened so far.

Last Year: Got sick. Pokemon everywhere. Assassination game and me getting killed in my own room. Christmas presents. Christmas break. Still sick. TGIFs. See RJ and Justin dueling. Brush of dirt off of cards.

New Year: Still sick. Drama Practice. Finalizing Passion Play Script. More TGIFs. Pokemon has died. Yugioh has taken over! Manage to hang on in school work. Slackin as usual. Hang up a dry erase board in room. Cotillion practice. Getting measured for Shimmey's cotillion. Best detentions in Library ever! Getting new prescriptions on contact lens. Driving to Modesto for license test. Buy clothes. Cotillion.

*YAWN*

There are some that deserve their own posts so I'll work on those later.

Hey.

Its been a while hasn't it? I haven't made a post in forever. "Wednesday, November 25, 2009 - So Sick of Being Sick " Ahaha. I haven't posted since last year. And oh btw. I'm still sick. Great. (Although I'm beginning to wonder if its just a chronic cough. I feel fine otherwise.)

Two months is a bit much to fill in... I'll fill you guys in later because I gotta go to my little cousin's Confirmation today.

So Sick of Being Sick

Sigh. Missed a couple of days when I would have put up fun blog posts, cuz I didn't have internet at the time. One such one was :"I got served by Jesus"

Anyway, I'll save that story for another time.

Thanksgiving break. I'm loving it. Well. I loved the Monday. Slept in. Watched DVD's (Including "Up") in the morning. Actually cleaned my room a bit. Then did confirmation stuffs. I actually enjoyed a monday. I felt productive and rested and thought "This is how break should feel like"

Tuesday was hell. I woke up with a sore throat, stuffy nose and a head ache. My first thought was, "This better be a bad dream," but it wasn't. I was so grumpy yesterday. I would fall asleep every 2-3 hours just cuz my body was tired. And if that wasn't enough, my dentist appointment got shifted from wednesday to tuesday. So I went there expecting to get like three cavities filled, but when I got there I found out that it was only 3 out of many. CURSE MY SWEET TEETH! So I went home sick, tired, and slightly amused at my numb left side of my mouth. Only thing that brightened my day was the Cyril came home and fixed wireless internet onto my desktop computer. So now I'm back.

Today was slightly better. Now its just the really annoying stuff nose and the cough. I've been taking like 2-3 vitamin C tablets per day just in an attempt to drive the sickness out of my body. Anyway, spent my morning in my room just catching up with people online who I haven't talked to in a while, updating facebok and myspace stuffs. I left in the afternoon to go to Chris's house so we could start planning for the CYM Christmas Reunion. We planned for a while, looking for different venues, but while trying to think of a planning schedule for the gym, we decided it would be the best place. Then after that we ended up dueling with Yu-gi-oh cards (yeah.) then playing random RPG and these weird horror games on the computer. For like...five hours. Then I got home. Went straight to the computer.

Anyway. I got three options. Chat on aim. Go to sleep. Or Bake for Thanksgiving. Or I could pick some particular order. If anything, I just want to get better already.

Priorities

Its already November. Dam. Where the hell has the beginning of senior year gone? I haven't even applied for any colleges yet. All of a sudden I can feel a big scary thing called "LIFE" breathing down my back.

I get distracted easily. I love to drown my self in things that I consider fun and push everything away. But eventually reality comes along and sticks a needle in my bubble and as it bursts, everything comes rushing back. Ugh. Sometimes I really hate myself for that.

Not only that, I feel I've spread myself quite thin this year. School, band, cym, confirmation, drama, vcat, family, friends. I love all of em, but its so hard to keep balance. Especially when I get distracted an push all of them away. Now college.

And something else that's been bugging me. For about 17 and a half years. About my single status. I feel like I want it to change. Yet at the same time I don't wanna be desperate. I keep seeing couples hooking up everywhere I go. I feel so...left out and alone. Ugh. I know this shouldn't be one of my priorities, but at the same time I want to so bad.

No Shave November

Join me? =)

Different Perspective

Sometimes you can't see everything from you're current point of view. But when change to a different location, you sometimes find new things or things you didn't expect to be there. Or even something you've been looking for, for a long time, but in just the wrong places.

That happened to me the other day. I just happened to be lying down on the couch and I happened so see something shiny between the back cushion and the bottom one. Curious I pull it out, and much to my surprise, it was my long lost iPod! I was so happy I really was LMAOing and I was kicking my cousin, who happened to be in the room, in the back because I couldn't get over it. I had been looking for that iPod all over the place so frantically and here it was in a place I least expected.

So there it is. Sometimes the things you seek aren't where you think they are. In some cases, you might actually be sitting right on top of it. That's life ;)

Midday Mourning

Sigh. Well, for once I'm done with my classwork early, but I keep having technical difficulties when trying to work with my pokemons.

Anyway, theres still a whole day ahead of me so I'm looking for a fun turn around =)

Onward nerds!

Clarity of Dreaming

Normally when I dream, I can never remember what I dreamed about. Yet last Sunday morning after the competition, I had a surprisingly clear dream.

Its night time. I was in the car with my uncle and we were driving in the neighborhood down Ramsgate. There are street lights on. As we're about to turn the corner, I notice that there are two guys in the middle of the street. One is on the floor in a pool of blood and the other is on the floor clutching his chest and looking at us. I scold my uncle for being a rubbernecker. As we're about to go around them and make the turn, I also notice more people on the sides and they're clearly about to fight or were already fighting. I remember one of them had something long an silver. I assumed it was a sword. There was one struggling duo on the middle of the street and as they fought my uncle purposely drove and hit both of them. Then I remember screaming at my uncle to "GO!" but then we were surrounded and I remember some huge figure infront of the car. Then I remember someone saying save me! I open the door and yell for that person to come in, but then that person says, its too late. I notice the sun has risen and the beginning of dawn had the sky light blue.

The there was a sudden scene change and I remember seeing three girls talking on a TV screen.

End dream there.

What the hell? I normally can't remember what I dream, but why do I remember this one? Hmm..

Deathly Tired and Bored to Death

Last Saturday deserves a blog. But blogging about it seemed like such a huge task. So much to write about. But here goes.

5:00 AM Wake up, head out to school, grab my stuffs and we head out after inspection n stuff.

Bus ride was interesting. 2 vs 2 pokemon battles to practice for the tournament on tuesday. I also surprised everyone with my HUUUUGGGEEEE.....sandwhich. Me and Chris only ate like half and we were full.

Get to Santa Cruz, team shimmey unload, get dressed, head out, stuffs. Someone in front of my was being constantly off step. Had a pretty decent performance. I looked for Cyril the whole time. Didn't see him. Get back to camp. Team shimmey has to unload stuff AGAIN but we were relieved by team kriselda. Ate foods, searched ice box for a can that wasn't half empty. Mr. Smuh dismissed us.

Heres where it starts getting fun. Me Chris and Sam head to beach taking the side entrance near the bridge. We meet up with kevin and joey and we set up camp. Kevin, Joey and I head across the shallow water to get to go inside a cave and find an awesome beach on other side. Head back and go along wall to check out a small cave in the wall. We didn't want to go in. Decide to swim across the deeper end to try to get to the other side. Me and Kev swim to the other side, then joey tries throwing his stuff across the river but everything spills halfway across. I swim out and start throwing things back and Kev and Sam. Joey throws his slippers as well so I swim out to get them but I don't have the energy to throw them. I try treading back but I find I have almost no stamina left. And I'm stuck in the middle of the river and the tide is pulling me farther from the others and toward the ocean.

This is the part where I think, "I might drown."

Knowing I'm at my limits of energy, I release joey's slippers as they were harder to tread with. I let my self sink so i can rest my arms twice, searching for the bottom, but all i got was sea weed, then struggled back up to gasp for air. All the while trying harder and harder to tread toward the the other side of the river. I see that I'm getting closer and closer every so slowly, and I'm scared to death but still I had hope. I didn't even have enough breath to yell for help. Finally I went under again and my foot hit a rock. I pushed up and managed to grasp onto the rocky shore. Once I grabbed on I felt such a huge sense of relief and finally i realized just how tired i was. I stayed there hunched over on that rock for about 2 minutes or so just catching my breath.

Kevin swam back across and then we tried to back the other way around through the shallow side. Kev's leg cramped up, and my legs were still wobbly and exhausted so neither of us could move for a while. Finally, we managed to make our way back to the spot were we could cross. Unluckily, Kev cramped up half way, and while i tried to help him across, my legs cramped up and both of us fell into the water while the tide started pulling us in. We had to crawl until we were safe from the tide, and i notice theres a family watching us like 10 feet away. Thanks family for getting your entertainment from watchin two guys who were about to get sucked into the ocean who couldn't do anything because they were paralyzed from cramps. Thanks also to Joey and Chris who came out of no where and dragged us farther up the beach.

So, with dead legs, I decided to just stay atour current camp instead of finding everyone else and I began to dig a hole. Marizelle and her bf were also there hanging out with chris. So I kept digging that hole for about an hour and a half. Eventually, I managed to leave the spot and seek out help and brought derrick over and we continued digging at twice the speed. derrick's brother dj eventually found us and helped us out as well. by the time we left for awards we had HUGE hole. Angelica has a movie of it on her camera.

Awards. Meh. That wasn't even our best show so I wasn't really psyched for it. Dig some bro talk too.

Bus ride home? Awesome. Started with Mario Kart. I completely suck at it now. Eventually we stopped. Then, somehow we started a conversation with the people around us. Josh, Justin, Ceasar, Kriselda, Chris, other Justin? But yeah. Talked about hella random stuff. It went from mind games like bang, and snaps, to scary movies, then ghost stories. By the end I think Josh and Justin had knocked out. By then end when we got up I found out I sat on the other half of my sandwhich. Bah. Bus duty.

Afterwards. Found a ride to go to Denny's to celebrate. Bad move.

Everyone from band took up the whole front section of Dennys. Thing is. There was only one waiter. At about 2 hours later of being bored to death, the bro's table didn't even get to order yet. and people had been leaving because of the super slow service. so me and joey get a ride with kev at around 10:30-11:00?, and we hadn't even ordered food.

So kev's dad said we were going to mc donalds to get some food, which was ok with me cuz i was starving. We ended up in the mc donalds in Walmart....after ordering and being confused about who got what, we headed home. Kev's dad dropped me off after joey and i get in the house, talk to my aunt a bit about the whole day then i head up stairs and crash. i didn't even take a shower. Crash time was about...1:00 AM?

That was Saturday and then some.

That Lingering Thought

So its been a while since I've blogged. That's because its been a while since I've actually thought of something worthwhile to blog. So here it is.

Have you ever had one of the experiences where you have two choices; Do or not do. And after you choose not to, there's always that question in your mind that lets ideas thrash your consciousness into only thinking about it? It seems like such an easy decision. Just pick [A] or [B] and logically and mathematically you have a 50% chance of getting a right answer. But life's not that simple. The "right" answer isn't always what we believe sometimes. After we make our decision it continues to pester us. Sometimes you even think that the other choice would have been better? Even to the point that you still remember it many years later and recalling upon that experience and say to your kids in a story they will find mundanely boring and try to teach them a life lesson out of it? That tormenting question of "What if...?"

And so today was one of those days. Walking home after helping some new interns at VCAT, it was getting late already and the sky was cloudy. Dead phone. No ride. Just walking home at 6 PM just taking time to reflect on my day and day dream a bit. Then I can't help but think it would be pretty cool if I randomly met someone in trouble and would be able to help them out and I'd be like a hero or something. Just those random fleeting fantasies that shimmer in and out of the mind. Honestly, it just helps pass the time till I get home. I couldn't use music to do that job because my phone was dead.

So as I round the corner, almost at home, I see a girl, who looked to be about high school age sitting on the corner. Me, I'm just wondering who this is and why is she sitting out here alone. Her, as soon as she notices me approaching the corner turns immediately to me and asks if I have a phone. I respond with the fact that mine is dead, which turns out to be her situation. So I find out that she works for Times Herald and goes door to door to get subscriptions and her boss drops her off at different locations and she calls when she's done. Only problem is, dead phone = having to wait on that sidewalk forever. So as I offer to let her use the one at my house, as its not too far down the street, she checks with another lady who was working in her garage first if she could use the phone, and she tells me its ok because she can use the phone.

So I say bye and I walk back to my house. Then I think: Is it really right to just leave a girl by her self on a empty street like in my neighborhood? i get to my house, check in with my uncle and start setting down my stuff. The whole time the question of "Should I go back to make sure she gets picked up safely?" nagging at me in my mind. "What will happen to her?" "What if....etc etc" So I head back out and head to the corner again.

So this time I see her there again and this time I meet up with her have have a conversation. This is actually the point where I realize that she works for Times Herald. She also tells me she has a partner walking around doing a different section of the neighborhood. We talk for a bit until she actually gets picked up. And when she does I feel accomplished.

Then another question pops up in my mind. "What if I asked her about part time jobs?" I dismiss it as ridiculous and head back home.

After cleaning up and starting to cook some rice and chili, I hear a door bell. I go to the door and I see a guy holding news papers. I realize he mush be the partner. He asks if my parents are home, and I say that my aunt just left, then I add on to say "Hi" to your partner n such. Then he leaves. I shut the door.

Then the question hits me again. "What if I asked for a part time job?"


So. Is it really worth it to actually take the risk sometimes and just do it? Is it worth not doing it, avoiding possible embarrassment or failure, and having to live with that question in your mind? Sometimes you just need to take a risk sometimes and do it rather than being left in the dark world of not knowing. I have plenty of those experiences in my mind. They drag me back to my memories of the past and make me wonder. What if.....

stop leaving your blog up bro

sign out!

Edit: Lol thanks to the person who wrote this cuz I hella forget to sign out in the morning >_>

MLIA

Ok. Yesterday.

Woke up hella late so I decided to skip first period to dodge detention and just come in during passing period. When I did ask my uncle to bring me, he took long because he didn't want to stop watching TV so I ended up being late to second period and still got detention. Yeah. MLIA.

Yesterday was pretty interesting. Some periods sped by leaving me in the dust wondering where the hell it went and some I couldn't wait to end.

During band practice I was picked to be one of the marching tech for bass section so I was surprised and proud of myself =) I still got to get used to it though. I'm not used to any leadership positions in band haha.

Ended the day with Confirmation. Got to see all the new kids for the Confirmation class and I gotta say. I can't wait!!!

Why Green Banana?

Today was one of the longest, tiring, funny, spiritual, productive, weird days, awesome I've ever had.

Sigh. I'm so tired that I don't think I'm gonna actually finish this post cuz if I try to explain it'll be wayy to long.

Aloha

Looking forward to the beginning of the end of my free time? Tomorrow marks the first part of all this in a series of of chain events.

Friday:
School 7:30-3:00
Band Practice 3:15-5:15
TGIF 5:30-10:00
Planning/Wake Over? 10:00-?????

Saturday:
Catechist Retreat 9:00 AM - 11:00 PM

Sunday:
Commissioning of Catechists 10:00-11:00
Homeworks time! Rest of day?

Monday:
School 7:30-3:00
Band Practice 3:15-5:15
First Day of Confirmation 6:00-9:00



As you can see...This may look busy....But wait till you start adding Band Competitions, VCAT Projects, planning for CYM events, while trying to keep the grades up. Oh boy. This is gonna be fun.

"Kommos"

Hmm. Ever get the feeling like your life is playing out as if you were in some sort of play? I always got the feeling like I was in some kind of comedy. Ha. So according to my new Drama teacher, the root of comedy is the Greek word "Kommos," which translates to orgy. Odd isn't it?

Speaking of orgy and comedy, I laughed when I was talking to Deamonte, Cody, and them and Adella comes in and says, "Monzon, don't hang out with them! They're perverts and they'll corrupt you if you stay around them too long. He's too good for you guys. Jon's not perverted." (In between protests by them to argue that I am one of them.)

Lol. That warning came about....7 years too late? Sorry Adella, I've already been corrupted. You just don't realize it because I control that side of my nature. Its such a tragedy isn't it? Tragedy actually means "Goat Song." This originates from the Greek symbol of a Satyr, a half-goat and half-man. The man represents the abilities of reasoning and knowledge, but the goat represents our animal nature too. I suppose I have greater control over that side of my nature.

Anyways, I'm looking forward to more random knowledge from Mr. Schuster and his endless knowledge about theatre.

Adopt a highway, kill a baby. Oh, America. Just where in the world are we headed toward when we start worrying about highways not being named instead of worrying about the unborn children who will never get a chance to be adopted or even be named. - phone blog